* You can identify universities by their internet domains.
* You are constantly looking for a thesis in novels.
* You have difficulty reading anything that doesn't have footnotes.
* You understand jokes about Foucault.
* The concept of free time scares you.
* You consider caffeine to be a major food group.
* You've ever brought books with you on vacation and actually studied.
* Saturday nights spent studying no longer seem weird.
* The professor doesn't show up to class and you discuss the readings anyway.
* You've ever travelled across two state lines specifically to go to a library.
* You appreciate the fact that you get to choose which twenty hours out of the day you have to work.
* You still feel guilty about giving students low grades (you'll get over it).
* You can read course books and cook at the same time.
* You schedule events for academic vacations so your friends can come.
* You hope it snows during spring break so you can get more studying in.
* You've ever worn out a library card.
* You find taking notes in a park relaxing.
* You find yourself citing sources in conversation.
* You've ever sent a personal letter with footnotes.
* You can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate.
* Your office is better decorated than your apartment.
* You have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the progress of your own joke across the Internet.
* You are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.
* You have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.
* You rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.
* Everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
* You have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.
* You have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while researching a single paper.
* There is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours."
* You actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.
* You can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library.
* You look forward to summers because you're more productive without the distraction of classes.
* You regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
* You consider all papers to be works in progress.
* Professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore.
* You find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual text.
* You have given up trying to keep your books organized and are now just trying to keep them all in the same general area.
* You have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.
* You find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th grade".
* You start refering to stories like "Snow White et al."
* You often wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting scurvy.
* You look forward to taking some time off to do laundry.
* You have more photocopy cards than credit cards.
* You wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as "personal communication".
* You have a favourite flavour of instant noodle.

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