The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?"
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A pregnant woman from Vancouver gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma.
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Mommy, Mommy! What's an orgasm?
A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia.
My aunt died, God bless her....
A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen.
<p>I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me - it was her beautiful younger sister.</p>
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<p>A young boy and his dad went out fishing one fine morning. After a few quiet hours out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him.</p>
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<p>You automatically double-knot everything you tie.</p>
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<p>1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.</p>
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<p>A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married.</p>
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<p>A husband and wife went to dinner and celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Afterwards they returned home and went to their patio to relax with a glass of wine and to reflect on their fifty years together.</p>
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<p>A guy went to a psychiatrist because he was having severe problems with his sex life. The psychiatrist asked him a lot of questions, but didn't seem to be getting a clear picture of the problems.</p>
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<p>A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner, she would like to have sex with him for the first time.</p>
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<p>A man and woman had been married for more than 65 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything.</p>
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<p>Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, "I slept with your mother!"</p>
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<p>Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different! The last few years, I took your advice
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<p>Visiting Afghanistan for a second time, a war correspondent noted that since the fall of the Taliban, wives who used to walk ten paces behind their husbands were now walking ten paces in front.</p>
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<p>A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away.</p>
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<p>A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.</p>
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<p>A mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by her son's house after he was recently married. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house to see her daughter-in-law standing naked by the door.</p>
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<p>An elderly Italian lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.</p>
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<p>This is a true story. Last week was my 40th birthday and I really didn't feel like waking up that morning.</p>
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<p>A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy.</p>
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<p>A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.</p>
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<p>Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are living in Florida and are all excited about their decision to get married.</p>
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<p>I was perhaps 9 years old when it happened. I had a terrible habit as a kid to want to sleep in until the last possible moment.</p>
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<p>My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'</p>
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<p>Once there were two twins, Joe and John. Joe was the owner of a dilapidated old boat, which sank the same day that John's wife died.</p>
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