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Bad Nuns
<p>One day there were four nuns in line for confessional. The first nun said, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."</p>
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Paying dues
<p>One day, this man, Tony, died. When he was sent to be judged, he was told that he had committed a sin, and that he could not go to heaven rightaway.</p>
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A Marriage made in heaven
<p>One rainy Sunday afternoon, a young couple were on their way to their Church to get married. On the way there, their car lost control and slammed into a telephone pole - killing them both instantly.</p>
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The hippie and the nun
<p>One day a hippie gets a ride on a public bus and sees a hot young nun. He sits down next to her and promptly asks if she would like to have sex, to which she immediately says no and walks off the bus.</p>
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Jesus and the metal pipe
<p>Jesus and Saint Paul are sitting in Heaven, talking about the pollution on Earth and wondering what can be done about mankind's filthy ways.</p>
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Bible advice
<p>Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show.</p>
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Never fall asleep in church
<p>One day Mr. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at his church. "Reverend," he said, "I have a problem. My wife keeps falling asleep during your sermons.</p>
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Talking to god
<p>Little Jimmy was laying about on a hillock in the middle of a meadow on a warm spring day. Puffy white clouds rolled by and he pondered their shape. Soon, he began to think about God.</p>
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He's a crazy ass driver!
<p>A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you?"
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The obedient wife
<p>There was a man, who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife...'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the cask
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Jonah and the whale
<p>A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.</p>
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Final confession
When Nuns are admitted to Heaven they go through a special gate and are expected to make one last confession before they become angels...
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A theory on hell
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term: "Is Hell exothermic [gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?..
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Feeding
A nervous young minister, new to the church, told the flock, "For my text today, I will take the words, 'And they fed five men with five thousand loaves of bread and two thousand fishes.'"
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Revelation and Genesis
A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally, he took ou
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Hell under construction
There was a construction worker who was working on a building when he fell 15 stories to his bloody death. He arrived at the pearly gates and St. Peter said ''Oh, I am sorry, my son. But you have been sentenced to hell. The worker agreed --
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Moses and Jesus
Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf one day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway, but rolled directly toward a water hazard. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the
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The Bible
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother...
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