'Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?' 'Yes. What can I do for you?'

Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

Q1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis; would you recommend that she have an abortion?

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy...

Tough Being A Guy
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

A young technician and his general manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother.