There is no egg in the eggplant, no ham in the hamburger and neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know -- take it out on someone you don't know.

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'

Kevin: Imagine that I let you borrow $50, but in exchange for my generosity, you promise to pay me back the $50 with an extra $10 in interest.

One day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt.

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class.

A 46yr old man gets a facelift for his birthday. When he left he went to the newspaper stand an asked how old do I look.

A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"