One Christmas, Santa was having a really bad day. The local elves union was up in arms over their contract and were threatening a walk-out.

An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her Husband's sex drive.

BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.

Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door.

Two engineering students meet on campus one day. The first engineer calls out to the other, "Hey nice bike! Where did you get it?"

A doctor is going about his business, with a rectal thermometer tucked behind his ear.

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon.

Two campers where hiking in the forest when all of a sudden a bear jumps out of a bush and starts chasing them.

During an IRS audit, the auditor looked at the tax payer and exclaimed "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS fin

A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present.